Monthly Archives: April 2010

Here and Away and Here Again

To believe someone else
I became a part
much more than my futures.
I felt like a double exposed photograph
being a singular person a little too much.
Four in the morning we were playing.
night owls.
We always had cereal.
Our names a conjunction.
What I meant
I’ll always know.

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I Won’t say goodbye

I’ve become disillusioned and dissatisfied
all at once.
My oval eyes have suddenly seen the shadows,
the grief-ridden,
the dusk of a dream.

Everyone says it’ll be good for me.
With every helping of vegetables
I’ll drink some despair.
Don’t look at me.

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Attempted Ruin

You promised your affection
but I needed more than words.
I climbed and climbed
to test you my dear,
it’s terrible but it’s true.

I reached the top of the building,
the one we walked past every morning,
with shaky legs
tears on cheeks
worst of intentions.
I called to tell you I was there.

I wanted to see the depth of you and I
in your blue green eyes
and have you coax me off the ledge
with affirmations of your endearment.

Then I saw your terrified expression
and heard you plead my name.
I wished I’d never caused such pain
to wrap around your being.

I jumped to you
and felt your shaking arms
against my shaking chest.
We fell to the floor in a crying heap
never to question each other again.

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A Home Without Regrets

I hardly ever think of you
unless our song comes up on shuffle
or I get nostalgic for home.
You were my home for so long.

We’re so different
and yet we’ve always been
shy children together.
The greatest common factor
of my past relationships.

I’d like to sit outside in your driveway
on a warm evening
like old times.
Playing silly games
and laughing until we’re blushing.
But you don’t live there anymore.
I don’t live there anymore.

When did we stop being each other’s?
Was it when we moved away
and stopped calling our hometown home?
Or was it when I acted like I was better than you
and you acted like I was too good for you?

I miss the home we created together
and the times without regrets between us.

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faded maps

The walls were covered with faded maps
and cobwebs adorned the lonely corners.
If it had been darker we would have been scared
but instead we felt like the only visitors
in an abandoned museum.

It had been so easy to climb over the little fence
and slide through the broken window.
Now we stood, so clean
in comparison to the dusty world around us.
We creaked through the rooms
and saw that all the closets and drawers
were still full of someone’s belongings.
An untouched world.

After leaving, everything outside seemed
too colorful and plastic.
We missed the faded photos and
the tangible sense of secrets.

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Bubblegum Memories

It was one of the long summer nights
that make you feel nostalgic for them
before they’re over.
We were doing everything we could think of
that would make our parents
shut their eyes and cringe
simultaneously.

We wanted to test out our youth,
break it even,
and find it whole in the morning
folded on the foot of the bed.

Everything smelled like original flavored gum
and that one perfume we all
thought seemed to smell expensive.
We were acting like the reality TV stars
that we never wanted to be
but would always watch
with a bizarre sense of envy.

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