unsaid words

We were all so tense. No, tense doesn’t quite cover it. It was a mixture of feeling tense, anxious, excited, scared, and confused. Sitting around in the house was only making it worse for the four of us. If the power hadn’t gone out we would have been able to pretend for a little while that things were okay as we watched the scary movie. Now, as we sat around the table in the dining room, it was clear that none of us were remotely okay. I suggested we go for a walk and we all agreed it was better than sitting still. It was late at night and a bit cold. We separated into two groups as we all knew we would. You and I were walking slower than the other two and we stayed far enough away so they couldn’t hear our conversation. We walked with our hands in our pockets, obviously awkward, and I wore your jacket since I was freezing. I was trying to convince you that things were a lot simpler than they seemed and you were trying to convince me that I was oversimplifying everything. We stopped talking for a while and walked to the bluffs that looked over the ocean. We lay down on the grass and stared up at the stars for a while as the thoughts in our heads tormented us. I told you everything would be easier if we just said everything we were thinking about. You agreed. Neither of us knew exactly how to start so the silence continued. When we finally walked back to the house I was furious at myself for not saying anything and you appeared just as mad at yourself. I went into the bathroom just to cry and you must have heard me because you knocked on the door. You asked why I was crying and I said I was just frustrated with things. You nodded your head and took my right hand in your left and led me to the couch. You sat down and I sat a few inches away, still feeling awkward. You pulled me closer to you then gently tilted my head until it rested on your shoulder. You took my hand again and told me not to cry anymore.


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