heat

1. You’re uncharacteristically excited for everyone to meet this girl. To all of us she is just a girl we’ll awkwardly shake hands with as you introduce us and that we’ll forget when she leaves. We don’t see the ties between you two, the connections formed from the years you’ve spent together. We don’t know that she was the girl you’ve always run to when you had problems you couldn’t handle yourself. She was always there when you were pissed at the world and telling everyone to fuck off, when you were stressed and on the verge of giving up, and when you were so thrilled that you couldn’t sit still. Of this we have no idea. She’s the only person to ever visit you, no one even came out when you moved here, so I guess she’s better than family to you. You smile widely as you show her around and it looks strange on your normally scowling face. You smiled a lot when I first met you but that was a long time ago now. I’m glad someone has returned the light to your eyes.

2. It’s 104 degrees outside and the pavement is hot even in the shade. I go swimming in the pool to feel human again. My bathing suit is too big, or I am too small, and I’m constantly readjusting the striped ties. I flip off the diving board to obtain that squirmy feeling in my stomach and wear goggles so I can watch the bubbles rise around me. I get out of the pool and already feel hot. I fall asleep on my little mermaid towel and wake up feeling hung over. The heat has drained me and I go inside to take a shower like a zombie. I drink copious amounts of iced tea as I lay in my underwear under the fan. I don’t remember what cold feels like.

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